due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She bit a glass in half.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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