I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize