She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
