haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
