there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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