so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
