my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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