your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
