Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
