i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
