so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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