Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
What a dumb baby whore.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
