Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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