Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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