if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
