I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
