Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i drank out of a bidet.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize