I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
