I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
