I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
