he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
