i will never coherently bang her
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
