you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
