dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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