Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
