Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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