there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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