I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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