my mouth tastes like poor choices
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Bring me that man meat
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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