ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize