My room smells like vodka and shame
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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