i don't like sucking hair
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
