Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
