the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
