ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize