You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
