Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
