another moral hangover. fuck.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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