ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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