Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Randomize
