I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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