I wish I could teleport
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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