Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
