omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
