I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
