Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
how drunk are you?
Several
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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