my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
