Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
