i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
