the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
