haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
