I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
