Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
