You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
