and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
