Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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