I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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