it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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