when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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